This week was not an inspirational one for headlines.

In fact they were conspicuous by their absence at The Sun, which chose not to cover the investigation at its sister paper The News of the World into alleged phone malpractices. Who could have predicted that?

So to help out Britain’s Favourite Newspaper, here are some headlines The Sun could have run if it had covered the story:

1. LINE B*STARDS (a staunch denial of wrongdoing)
2. DIAL BE HACK
3. ‘WAPPING GREAT LIE’
4. MIND THE TAP
5. CALL ORDER
6. BUG OFF
7. FINE LINE
8. PIN LADEN
9. BLOWER JOB
10. SHAMING OF THE SCREWS (yes I quite like that one)