And I say this as a vegetarian of 22 years.

And the reason for the stupidity is not our fault. It is the fault of people who are not vegetarian (but invariably are fussy arses) muddying the waters by saying they are, in some guise. When they’re not.

This BBC article is a great precis of the situation: today, there are fish-eating (alleged) vegetarians not are not vegetarian at all, and there are vegetarians too scared or embarrassed to admit what they are.

So given I actually am a vegetarian (see below), let me attempt to segment the market once and for all:

- Vegans: nil by mouth that has come from a living creature, whether it died in the process or not
- Vegetarian: as above, but the nil by mouth applies to things that have come from a creature’s dead bits (i.e. they still drink milk, eat cheese without animal bits in it, etc)
- Carnivores: obvious
- People who are confused or clueless about what being vegetarian or vegan means, are liars or are too stupid to figure it out, so claim to be some sort of pseudo vegetarian when they’re only really kidding themselves

You can take your pollo-pesco-copout stuff and shove it.

I used to think that what vegetarianism really needed was good PR to clarify what it really meant. It still does, but it also needs the faux-vegetarians to wise up and ‘fess up.

And no, I do not bleedin’ eat fish.