The Press Complaints Commission’s ruling that it was inappropriate for a journalist to contact a dead person’s relative through Facebook has brought the thorny issue of media intrusion into the spotlight again.

Meanwhile, one of my family is being extremely intrusive amongst hundreds of thousands of dead people, wandering the devastated streets and shacks of Port-au-Prince to file copy for The Financial Times on the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti.

So the Facebook intrusion decision is being heralded as something of a watershed but really just marks the card of digital media techniques as a no-go for snooping journalists. But it does somewhat miss the point that while digital audit trails make it easier to check whether journalists are crossing the line, in the real world they do so all the time.

The breach, of Clause 5 of the Editors’ Code of Practice, bars the media from “intruding on the shock of grief of a bereaved individual”. If journalists do that by Facebook, there’s a growing chance they’ll be snagged. Whereas in newsrooms around the country, you can still hear news editors saying to beat reporters “this person has just been killed in a crash. Get yourself around to see the family for a quote”.

As a hack, doorstepping was something that got me some of the stories that developed my career, but something that lives long in the memory. Child fatalities were the most harrowing. A colleague who knocked on the door of a remote farm to interview a mother who had just lost three sons in a smash found she “knew he’d be coming” and had baked him a cake. Still in shock, a shotgun was propped against her kitchen door and he made a swift retreat. After he got the quote.

That media desperation to get a stronger story than the competition did, in my experience, prompt journalists to go way beyond the moral line and breach the code of conduct by introducing on grief, often at its height. Yet there are many cases, such as the Haitian tragedy, where doorstepping people can be for the greater good.

Reports from the scene can deliver awareness and tell the true story to the rest of the world. The full horror may be something that is difficult to stomach and many parents consider to be adults-only material. But, perhaps ironically, the more casualties the more ‘doorstepping’ can be a good thing. The media has an important role to play in ensuring help arrives for those left behind.

Equally, doorstepping in the case of an individual death can be justified if, in the instance of a tragic accident for example, the grief expressed by families can be a force for change or help save other lives by raising awareness.

But turning up minutes after, or even before, the family has been informed by police is a dirty business and typically only the interests of the media are served. It’s something the media has practiced for years, but with digital media making the methods more transparent – and giving families the ability to make their displeasure known – the PCC may have less to police if the press feels forced to redraw its own line of acceptability.