PR is a job that never fails to surprise. Sure, there can be far too much pen-pushing and meeting overload, like any job. But getting our hands dirty with editorial all the time means things are always changing.

What surprises me though is not so much the words and pictures side of what we do, but the new business side. Specifically, the way in which some prospective clients conduct themselves when putting PR contracts out to pitch.

It’s like this. Sometimes, prospective clients handle elements of the pitch process in a way that’s either disrespectful, unfair, rude, naïve or just plain daft. I could go much further and be far more harsh than I’m prepared to do here. Equally, these aren’t all new phenomena, as many have dogged PR firms for years.

I should issue a disclaimer at this stage: these comments are absolutely not related to any prospective clients that are currently in discussions with Speed, nor any organisations that we have pitched to in the recent past.

But they are a reflection of bad pitch management by organisations over the years, and unfortunately are traits that flare up all too often. It could be done so much better.

So, here goes. I set these out not to be a grinch, but in the hope that organisations seeking agency support will think about them when instigating a pitch, for the sake of all involved. Ten things that companies do wrong when asking agencies to pitch for their PR account:

1. Fail to get consensus on the brief. Most agencies will insist on a brief, however brief, in writing. There’s nothing worse than pouring over it, discussing it with the PR manager then getting into the pitch to hear from senior management that they have wholly different views on commercial priorities

2. Shenanigans over who will be in the pitch. Bringing in the financial director ‘as a surprise to test you’ may help assess whether an agency can think on its feet, but bringing a cast of extras along with no warning is a distraction and wholly unhelpful. Equally, marketing directors not turning up because they’ve found something better to do is not a clear sign of an unbridled commitment to the success of PR

3. Mickey Mouse rationale for not choosing the unsuccessful agencies. If your firm was beaten with better ideas, a clearer approach or what appeared to be more enthusiastic or knowledgeable people, you should know that. Not get some dribble about how it was just a chemical attraction so the others barely shaded it despite the allegation that “we love you guys!”. My favourite ever excuse was that they didn’t like my hair (which, at the time at least, was beautiful)

4. Insufficient time to prepare. Again, testing agencies is no bad thing and they should be under pressure to devise the right strategy and programme, but deliberately squeezing them unrealistically can make their business and their clients suffer. You wouldn’t want companies doing it to your agency, so why do it to agencies when it’s your time for the pitch process?

5. A ropey brief. A brief doesn’t have to be extensive and good agencies will interrogate every word anyway, but too many briefs are packed full of business-speke that just clouds the requirement rather than pinpoints it. It’s not big, and it’s not clever. Speak plainly and you will end up with better communication

6. Going through the whole process ‘to have a look at other ideas’ when you know full well you’re either going to stick with your existing agency or do the work yourself. We do normally see you coming you know

7. Behaving like an arse in the pitch itself. Yes do the poker faces, yes test the agency’s mettle because you want resilient, smart and quick-thinking people to represent your brand. But don’t pretend (of course, it may be true though..) to be bored stiff or (I have one example) to pass notes about the pitch team between yourselves and snigger openly at them

8. Play around with your smartphone or laptop incessantly during the pitch. If it’s that important, apologise and leave the room to deal with it. But these people have put time/money and energy into preparing for the meeting, so at least do them the courtesy of pretending to be interested

9. String agencies along with an unnecessary series of pitch meetings. Most briefs can be answered with a credentials or chemistry meeting, a pitch itself and then perhaps a final meeting with other senior personnel you’d be working with. If it takes you half a dozen meetings to make a decision then few agencies are going to want to work with you, simply because they’ll fear nothing will ever get done

10. Worst of all is the inability to handle communication of the decision with courtesy and professionalism. In fairness, the vast majority of clients will call the successful agency first, then rapidly call the others in succession to tell them the disappointing news. Others may prefer to do so by email, which is OK but obviously lacks the personal touch. But what isn’t acceptable is asking agencies to pitch for your business and then allowing those who lost to find out on the grapevine when they hear who has won. Or even worse, not appointing anyone and simply refusing to return calls