If Diane Keaton can't do it, it says it all
An interesting article in this week’s Stylist mentioned a YouGov survey which found that only 12% of mothers wanted to work full-time and 31% did not want to work at all.
Some critics will come sharp and sum up the situation as: after decades of fighting in the name of ‘we want to have it all’, well actually, no they don’t really want it…
It’s not that women have changed their mind; it’s just that it’s not physically and psychologically possible to do both.
If you know any career-focused woman in her mid-thirties with two young kids who can balance both her work and her family life – and I mean balance WELL i.e. doing her job 120% as any career-minded person is expected to do, going home on time, being an available mother who is as dedicated to her chilodren as a mum-at-home will be and a loving wife – well, let me know.
Without being the usual pessimist here, no I don’t think women can have it all if they don’t want to do things half , or worse neglect one, and they have (unfortunately) started to realise it.
Oh it’s not that they haven’t tried – some of them are still, bless them. You can see them running in the tube, exhausted after working on their Blackberry until 11pm (obviously after bathing, feeding, reading stories etc.), some porridge on the blouse, already thinking about what to cook in the evening, what to do this weekend, not forgetting to pick up the dry-cleaning…
Women have had enough and although more men are staying at home and their role in the family is changing, baking cup cakes and reading stories seem much more appealing for many career women than long hours at their desk, and that constant running/lack of time – understandable, if they can afford it, of course.
Those who can’t are stuck in the ‘running-tube/porridge-blouse’ or can go part-time, ideal for someone just looking for a job, slightly disappointing for someone more ambitious.
Is there an actual choice? Not really…
The sense I get is that the days of Superwoman Nicola Horlick (five kids and a top City job) are behind us and more women these days are taking a proper break for the sake of their families.
Still though, the tough reality is that most babies tend to coincide with the period in your life when you’re likely to make most career progress – late 20s to late 30s. Career women have tried to address that by having familieis later, but spent the intervening time worrying about flagging conception. Perhaps employers need to look at the issue and be more flexible in addressing the problem – when people are having kids, their jobs need to fit around that more. Employers who can let them do that while still getting the very best out of the staff will be onto a winner.
Really interesting blog. I guess flexibility is one answer, but real progress will come when raising kids stops being solely ‘women’s work’ – if men took, or were able/encouraged to take equal responsibility, then the problem would be sorted out in no time! I know a lot of men want to, but at the moment, the system’s just not set up to allow or encourage it.
I definitely enjoyed reading through this write-up.Thank you.