This week, the winner of our ‘Wall of Shame’ competition (on the basis of the submission of this super snap), Simon Matthews, answers some suitably random questions about fetishes, football and the role of PR in today’s business climate.

Q – Tell us about your worst habit – throw in any fetishes.

A – I’m far too generous which has led to at least one of my friends owing me £600

Q – List the 3 most embarrassing things you’ve ever said/done – whilst sober.

A- Inadvertently accusing my step-step-grandfather (step-dad’s step-dad) of using inflatable sex dolls – in my defence I was young and didn’t really understand what I was talking about.

In ‘Nam I fell down an open manhole while walking across a field with my friends, after an interesting run in with some prostitutes who stole 100,000 Dong (about 5 of her majesty’s sterling pounds) – without any form of professional services being exchanged I hasten to add.

I once ate a habenero chilli in one mouthful because an attractive lady bet I couldn’t. I was successful in the attempt but my mouth was in such a state of pain and dribbling that I was rendered insensible.

Q – What’s your take on today’s business climate and the role & importance of PR?

A – It’s still a little rocky out there in places and PR is as important as ever – if not more so. A company with no PR will struggle for awareness in a competitive business environment, so they need us to put them right in front of their customers in a way that advertising and other marketing disciplines can’t.

Q – Are you a football fan? Why? Who do you support? Have they won anything?

A – Crystal Palace. Winning is for chumps.

Q – I hear match.com will soon have a new member – what qualities do you possess that one might…consider?

A – In the name of research, I have bravely volunteered to sign up to match.com. Apart from being generally great at everything, I’m a pretty good cook. All I can ask is that the ladies form an orderly queue.

Q – Name your top 3 Speeps and the reasons why you love them/don’t love them so much. We’re an honest bunch, don’t be afraid of the possibly hostile repercussions.

A – Very difficult to choose as I do like all of you lot, despite your best efforts – here’s an arbitrary selection:

Bex has to get a look in on this – she’s lovely and, as a bonus, hasn’t fired me.

John Brown – often looks quite dapper and is the source of many japes.

Nicole – lunch buddy extraordinaire.