I work for a firm called Speed. So our summer staff off-site team-building afternoon was never, literally, going to be a picnic.
Instead we’re heading to The Raceway go-karting track this afternoon for the Speed Karting Challenge. And rather than one of those politically correct rituals where ‘everyone’s a winner’ and teams plot their strategies then step forward to achieve something together in beautiful unison, this one is every man (and woman) for himself.
It’s about winning. Second place is just the best loser.
Just like modern school sports days were everyone gets a medal just for turning up and behaving, I can’t abide namby-pamby team harmony exercises. Things that teach greater consideration, empathy and better ability to support colleagues are great, if they’re applicable to the workplace and really challenge people. The nicey-nicey stuff is not my bag though. Fundamentally, people in business need to be constantly pushing themselves to improve, and to achieve personal success as well as help others. We need greater spirit of competition in the workplace.
So here are those who the smart bets are on for today’s karting speedfest:
- Simon ‘Psycho’ Matthews: quiet, stealthy, loves to see others crumble in his rear view mirror
- Flora ‘The Glaswegian’ Turner: hard as nails, karting track record reads like a catalogue of destruction
- John ‘The Dustbin’ Brown: bulk is on his side as he hopes sheer bodily momentum will see him though
- Helen ‘The Eager Beaver’ Beavis: needs no greater incentive than a glass of Sauvignon Blanc at the finish line
- Neil ‘The Ginger Ninja’ Carter: runs IT and so may have fixed the electronic scoring system anyway
Follow the antics and herald the victor on Twitter at #speedkarts.