Apple may be preparing to allow multi-tasking on the iPhone, according to media reports. Apple news site AppleInsider cited anonymous sources in reporting that the iPhone OS 4.0 release will allow users to launch and access multiple applications at once, including those from third-party developers.

BBC – Dotcom web address celebrates silver anniversary

The internet celebrates a landmark event on the 15 March 2010, the twenty-fitth birthday of the day the first dotcom name was registered.

The Register – Google ‘99.9 per cent’ certain to pull China search plug

Google is now “99.9 per cent” certain it will shut down its Chinese search engine, according to a report citing “a person familiar with the company’s thinking”.

Computerworld UK – Humans continue to be ‘weak link’ in data security

Nearly 90 percent of IT workers in the UK have said a laptop in their organisation has been reported lost or stolen, new research has found.

Computerworld UK – Virgin runs fibre broadband via telegraph poles

Virgin Media will use telegraph poles to extend the reach of fibre-to-the-home in a test in the UK village of Woolhampton, it said today.

The Daily Telegraph – Man fined over Facebook insult to ex-girlfriend

A man has been ordered to pay £165 for calling his ex-girlfriend an offensive name on Facebook, in one of the first cases of its kind.

SC Magazine – Former Metropolitan police commissioner Sir Ian Blair speaks on the danger cyber terrorism could have on the UK, along with organised hackers and the insider threat.

Sir Ian Blair speaks of how information communication technology security was potentially the greatest threat to the UK by the end of this decade.

So if you were woken up at dawn by a loud and unexplained noise it was probably the sound of millions of gay men exploding with glee about this. You see, among we “gentlemen who can’t catch” this is big news. The Beyonce/GaGa collaboration is the Donna Summer/Barbra Streisand moment of our times – except clearly better because Telephone contains 0% Barbra “she-gave-the-spare-a-in-her-name-to-SATAN” Streisand.

Telephone smashes two of pop music’s biggest stars into a hugely expensive 10 minute face-off  video that is – in the words of the northern hairdressers who will still be dancing on tables to it at their Christmas parties in Jongleurs -  “proper mental”. GaGa herself has suggested it’s a post-modern critique of today’s “always-on” communications culture. Personally I think it’s more like a cross between Prisoner Cell Block H, Thelma and Louise, Faster Pussycat Kill Kill Kill and (bizarrely enough) Nigella Lawson’s Forever Summer.

It’s also an example of something that’s been rarer than Siberian tigers for some years now: the event pop video. Whether you blame the internet or, like me, Jennifer Lopez, record company promotion budgets have been in tailspin for years now. The days of the Fugees blowing millions on helicopters to drown out the sound of an Enya sample are long gone, and instead we have the Girls Aloud approach to music video-making. This is where you secure your production budget by shaking out the sofa cushions for spare change.

Lady GaGa, however, has changed this – at least temporarily – by being a good Christian and “rendering unto God what is God and to Caesar what is Caesar’s”. Wise to the fact that a truly great pop video is both an artistic and commercial statement, Ms GaGa justifies the astronomical production costs of videos like Telephone by selling product placement space within them to the highest bidder. This is why Telephone might amaze you on one level, but also make you want to buy a Virgin Mobile and go to Subway for your lunch.

Purists may object but, hell, Lady GaGa cannot live on latex alone. Besides, anyone who persuades Beyonce to use a four letter word and poison her boyfriend has to be doing something right.

Apple will add multitasking to the Jesus Phone this summer with the release of the divine handset’s version 4.0 software update, according to a report citing anonymous people who have accurately predicted Jobsian behavior in the past .

Computerworld UK – The Internet is nominated for Nobel Peace Prize

The Norwegian Nobel Institute yesterday announced there are 237 nominees for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize. Though the the institute doesn’t normally disclose who made the list, an official did confirm to Computerworld that it includes the Internet.

Computerworld UK – Google stays ahead of Microsoft Bing

Microsoft in recent months has slowly boosted its share of the search business, but still remains far behind a so far unbeatable foe in its battle with Google.

Computer Weekly – Most people would rather vote online

More than three in four (77 per cent) of the public would vote via the internet in the general election if given the choice, according to a survey conduced by Lewis Communications. Some 1,000 people were asked for their views on the use of social media in politics.

Management Today – Fancy a pint before work? Wetherspoons to open at 7am

The pub group said today that profits were up. One of the reasons for this is that the groups move into coffee and breakfasts. CEO Tim Martin now plans to open the pubs at 7am to catch the pre-work crowd

The Guardian – Tories promise superfast broadband

Conservatives try to outdo Labour by promising broadband speeds of up to 100Mbps in technology manifesto.

The publication of the Tory Technology Manifesto initially got my hopes up. At last an election that puts technology at the heart of the debate. But on a closer look the definition of ‘technology’ is woolly to say the least.

Most people will agree that opening up government data, increasing superfast broadband speeds, ending central government mega-projects and increasing the use of open source are generally ‘good things’. I’m less sure about the vague idea of crowdsourcing during the discussion of legislation – but that’s a personal worry about the fine line between the wisdom of crowds and the baying of the mob.

What is less easy to understand is how many of the other proposals fit under ‘technology’. A new high speed rail network? Measures to force every local authority to publish expenditure over £500 online? MP expenses available via the web? Whatever you think of these, I wouldn’t class them as technology policies.

This isn’t just being pedantic – the risk is that if this is what politicians see as ‘technology’, the real benefits of properly applied IT and a vibrant UK tech sector will get lost in wrangles over trains and expense claims for duck houses. Time to reclaim technology for what it actually is and what it can really deliver to the country.

A number of influential tech industry players have signed an open letter to the Financial Times opposing government plans to tighten up internet regulation, particularly the moved to cut off illegal file sharers without a fair trial.

BBC – Internet ‘in running’ for Nobel Peace Prize

ZDNet – Google Street View to cover 96pc of UK roads

Google plans to make a further 210,000 miles of British roads available on its Street View service today.

The internet is among a record 237 individuals and organisations nominated for this year’s Novel Peace Prize.

CBR – Online banking fraud rises 14 per cent

Debit and credit card fraud has fallen dramatically as criminals turn their attention to the easier pickings to be had from fleecing online banking customers. Figures released today by the UK Cards Association revealed a substantial 28 per cent drop in fraud losses from 2008 to 2009, amounting to £170m. This dramatic fall to lowest levels since 2006 was put down to combination of initiatives from banks, including chip and PIN, as well as greater police input.

Whilst reading an article on ‘Office Etiquette’ in this week’s Stylist magazine, I had a little chuckle to myself as I remembered a recent embarrassing moment at work . . . 

My ‘cringe’ moment took place a couple of weeks ago, when I walked into a client meeting and goodness knows what came over me but I lent in for a smacker with one of the two clients (a double smacker whilst grasping onto both shoulders – Mediterranean style). As I was kissing him, a little voice in my head screamed ‘what am I doing? Boll*cks, I have to know kiss the other one so he doesn’t feel left out!’

Many of you are probably wondering ‘what’s really cringing about that? I always kiss my clients when we meet’. I partly agree, I do have clients which always kiss on hellos and goodbyes, but they’re typically ‘PR dahling’ types, these two clearly weren’t by the crimson coloured cheeks and wide-eyed look on their faces.

This was the tenth meeting over the course of 12 months, and I had never kissed them on any of these previous occasions, so why start now? I then spent the next hour of the meeting sweating about how to handle their departure, ‘as I’ve kissed once, do I kiss again? Will they expect it from now on?’

I didn’t, I stuck out my hand (abruptly) and sighed with relief as we were now back on familiar ground – the good old handshake.

Reeling with confusion after my illicit encounter, I approached one of our MD’s, Steve Earl and asked ‘to kiss or not to kiss?’ His response was simply ‘if they pay seven figures they get tongue’.

If only the guide to office etiquette had been published earlier!

When discussing our jobs with non-PR folk it can feel like we are constantly justifying our ‘very busy, very important’ role as a ‘real’ job by attempting to explain in 100 words or less what it is we actually do all day. Even worse, is the assumption that we’re all vacuous champagne-swilling lushes. (- It’s amazing that Ab Fab continues to perpetuate the myth of the PR professional 6 years after the series ended!)

Times have certainly changed since Lynne Franks swapped fashion for Feng Shui, and consumer PR is now a much varied and forward thinking place, full of dynamic individuals.  However, it did come to my attention on my short-lived travels as a freelancer, that as an industry we do generally seem to fall into certain PR tribes:

Work hard, play hard – Works like a dog which earns them the right to party. Hard. Hard to the point where it all becomes a bit scary for those with them during said partying and those beside them at work the next day

Most likely to…have a heart attack

PR not ER – Constantly on the verge of tears and believes that without their manic micro managing and hysteria the whole company would go to the dogs

Most likely to…type through the tears because there’s no time to go to the loo for a proper cry (or a pee)

Posturing pervert – Can’t handle working in an industry surrounded by nubile young flesh and believes they have earned the right to ‘give it a go’ with the team assistant after a boozy lunch

Most likely to…be really inappropriate and summoned by HR

The bitter intellectual – Got a big fat academic chip on their shoulder because they are ‘too good’ for PR but have managed to work in the same agency for the last 10 years with minimum career progression

Most likely to…belittle the graduate trainee because they are secretly jealous of their youth and

Nice but dim – Exactly as the name suggests. It’s amazing they ever managed to get a job, let alone keep it but these twits seem to be recession proof. Probably because Daddy owns the company

Most likely to…look vacant while being given a simple task before asking for it to be put on an email so they can ‘get their head round it’

Lazy and deluded – The most infuriating group as you find yourself channelling a grumpy old person and saying things like ‘they wouldn’t know a day’s work if it slapped them round the face’

Most likely to…‘push back’ on work they are given because they are ‘totally maxed’ then leave the office at 5.30 on the dot

Nice as pie – So-o super nice and helpful. Never shouts, even if people deserve it, and can be a bit put upon

Most likely to…have a ‘falling down’ moment at the next inter-agency meeting and put a pic of their privates in the middle of a presentation to the company heads

You’ve heard of culture, right? It’s that stuff they talk about on Radio 4 between The Archers and documentaries on credit default swaps. Theatre, music, paintings, dance, all that. The fact is that we’re spoilt rotten for culture, here at Speed towers: the National Gallery’s over the road, likewise for St Martin in the Fields and the National Portrait Gallery. Yet, like most lazy Londoners we never seem to use any of these world-class resources. Indeed I totted it up the other day and when we do leave the office, we’re most likely to visit All Bar One or The Japan Centre.

Now I don’t have anything against beer and sushi – they’re two of humanity’s greatest inventions – but it seems a great shame to miss out on cultural London. So as Speed’s creative director, I’ve decided it’s high time to start up a programme of regular cultural outings for people at the company.

So (at the risk of sounding like an early 20th century Italian Futurist) here it is: -

The Speed Cultural Manifesto

1. We will do something cultural at least once a month.

2. Outings will be over lunchtime or in the evenings (so people can still get to All Bar One if they’re exhibiting cheap rose withdrawal symptoms)

3. Outings will be in central London and we’ll be free to go at 8.30 (we all have homes to go to, after all)

4. We’ll try to do free events at first – just to prove that not everything great about central London comes with a massive price tag

5. It’s a Speed event, but everyone’s welcome – bring your friends

6. The event can be about anything….apart from PR. We all love our jobs, but it’s a big world out there filled with wonderful ideas. So let’s use this as an opportunity to appreciate them and forget about press releases, social media and the sometimes fraught relationship between hacks and flacks

So there we have it. Currently, voting for the first Speed cultural event is leaning towards attending one of The Science Museum’s legendary Lates on 31st March, but we’re working on a calendar of possible activities. You can see it here, if you’re interested, and all suggestions are welcome – as long as they’re reasonably clean. We’re not Chatroulette, after all.

If it does indeed win it will be the first time an inanimate object has been awarded the prestigious prize. But who would pick up the award? Whilst no one person can truly be credited, here are some possible suggestions:

– Sir Timothy John “Tim” Berners-Lee seems an obvious choice. A British engineer, computer scientist and MIT professor credited with inventing the world wide web

– Leonard Kleinrock was the first person to write a paper on the idea of packet switching which is essential for the Internet to work

– Larry G. Roberts created the first functioning long-distance computer networks in 1965 and designed the Advanced Research Projects Agency Network (ARPANET), the seed from which the modern Internet grew, in 1966

– Bob Kahn and Vint Cerf invented the Transmission Control Protocol (TCP) which moves data on the modern Internet, in 1972 and 1973. If any two people “invented the Internet,” it was Kahn and Cerf – but they have publically stated that “no one person or group of people” invented the Internet

Who do you think should pick up the prize?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love it. I love the blokish banter (in fact, the niche dating web site blog from earlier this week was as a direct output of it), there are no occasional emotional outbursts (unless they’re originating from me) and they’re not that bad at making tea either.  To make it all the more interesting, I’m the boss (okay, joint head of the technology team here at Speed).  Now what I wondered is, is it really that unusual for a woman to be the boss of a team of men in today’s tech PR industry? I’d like to think things have moved on, but I suspect that in far too many PR agencies it’s men who land the top jobs – for whatever reason.

I really do hope things are changing, as it’s quite good fun from where I’m sitting…