It feels like recently we can’t get through a week without reading about another footballer screwing-up (off the pitch) and to be honest the whole thing’s become such a farce, that I secretly look forward to seeing which of our supposed ‘national heroes’ is gracing the front cover of News of The World each Sunday, just for light entertainment.

Captain Terry kicked off the recent flurry of indiscretions with his team mate’s missus Vanessa Perroncel. John was captain no more, she was blamed for England losing the World Cup (unlikely), but his wife stuck by him, aaaahhh isn’t that true love? Ashley Cole was at it again, and will forever be associated with the aptly coined word ‘sexting’ (and those vile greige boxer shorts). We all yelped with glee when our Cheryl filed for divorce.

Peter Crouch soon followed after being apparently caught at it with a teenage prostitute. Honestly, he must thank his lucky stars everyday for his talent as I can safely say no woman would look his way otherwise. Rumour has it that his punishment from  fiancé Abbey Clancy, was to buy her a more extravagant engagement ring (somebody please sit her down and explain ‘self-worth’). And to top it off, this week’s big story is that Wayne Rooney is stumping up the cash again. No he’s not back to romping with an old age masseuse, this time it is alleged she’s a teenage vice girl who’s claimed to have bedded up to 13 Premier League players (her parents must be so proud).

So we’re all in agreement, that if you marry an England footballer the chances that he’ll do the dirty on you are pretty high. A lot higher than them leading us to World Cup victory anyway.

Let’s be honest who feels sorry for the WAGS, anyone? Nope, nobody. Why? Because the benefits for these women when their partners cheat are endless. Look at Cheryl, in a space of two years she’s gone from being one fifth of a mediocre girl band and was known more for her apparent rant in the ladies loos of classy nightclub Drink in Guildford, to now being a national treasure.

So fear not Colleen, yes it’s sad and he’s humiliated you, but if we were to believe the tabloids he clearly has no desire to change for you or your son. Why not focus on making the most of this free publicity? Think perfumes, another clothes range perhaps, or a tell-all book? It’s your turn to screw him over, take half, walk away and don’t give him the satisfaction of looking back.